JumpStart: What does this have to do with that?

I'm sitting in a coffee shop, minding my own business and drinking some hot chocolate in the middle of summer, when all of a sudden this crazed-looking man with wild eyes runs up to me, shoves a bag into my hands, whispers harshly: "Keep this secret! Keep it safe!" and sprints off. I look inside the bag to behold:

A few minutes later, three harried-looking FBI agents burst into the coffee shop. Luckily, I'd already snapped the bag closed before the bee or the Luchadore could escape, and the agents can't hear the angry buzzing over the general murmur of the surprised patrons. Frustrated, they wander off.

Little did I know that I had just stumbled upon a great adventure. That wildman I mistook for a crazed bum was actually a U.S. senator that had stumbled upon a great and terrible secret, a conspiracy that stretched into such diverse fields as children's toys manufacturers, beekeepers, and actual fields with strawberry plantation owners.

Each of the items in the bag held a key to the piece of the puzzle, a microchip implanted inside of them which, when held together in front of a vault beneath the White House, would unlock evidence on every conspiracy real or imagined the U.S. has ever spawned.

... unfortunately, the bee ate the strawberry and caused a miniature nuclear explosion that took out half of Philadelphia, and I never found out more.